What I Must Do - Through Him

The year of 2012 was suppose to be about butterflies

I had designated the images 

had posted them

around the social network

And told friends – time to come out of the shell

Time to shift

This will be the year of the butterfly

that breaks free to be a beautiful 

flying wonder

The year was to be about transition

Coming out of the cocoon and of our own will – flying free

I was so certain, that I could do it alone. That I could do it all by myself.

Fly free-

Free into the world of the desert

Free into the world of self discovery.

Placing every idol I could

Before God- meaning

My ‘cause’ – the noble idea of the how politics can save us all

Meaning

My ‘love life’ – the idea that a mere man can save me

Meaning

Me, myself and I. 

Meaning Ego- driven identity

with idols at my behest.

But 2012 was not

because God has other plans

For me to be free- under His Will

For me to succumb to the will of Christ our Lord

And to allow, on my knees, for the Holy Spirit to fill me with joy and understanding

The year started out glamorous and full of potential

Pregnant with my own desires

With a deep need to be accepted to be liked

But then – like a flash of lightning

The whole thing shifted

To the cicada

A somewhat uglier creature

That toils inside the earth for years and years

Only to reach the surface and break free after a struggle

This image – serves an example of what I must do

Struggle against my vanity

Struggle against my pride

Submit to the will of God

And only through Him, out of the struggle – Fly.